The word introduction doesn't sound quite as good as the word inception but I guess it will work.

Hello.

Wow, what a lame way to start a description. 

Maybe I should start with a quote?

"Derek says it's always good to end a paper with a quote. He says someone else has already said it best, so if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong."

Well that was a quote about using a quote but it doesn't really fit what I'm trying to say here.

If I haven't lost my reader by now, then they must really want to know who I am.

Who would listen to this train of thought?

Listen idiot, just say some stuff about where you're from and what you want to do.

Well what I want to do is go downstairs and make a sandwich.

Not what you want to do right now, loser, tell them what you want to do with your life.

Oh, you mean just say some stuff about how I love writing, and being a professional writer would be really cool?

Yes.  Tell them about your major and how old you are, you know, basic stuff like that.

Well, let's see, I'm 21, I'm majoring in journalism at Kennesaw State University, I play Ultimate Frisbee, and in my spare time I like to write, and by write I mean write anything, whether it's letters, articles, or just scribbling some thoughts down on paper.

See? Was that so hard?

No.

I didn't think so, now go downstairs and make that sandwich, I'm starving.